Transsexual Transylvania
by Picaro
Summary: After receiving an invitation to a party at Count Dracula´s castle, Bakura and Seto, exorcists extraordinaire, decide to dress out as monsters and raid the castle…–not quite getting what they hoped for. (BakuraRyou, MalikSeto, AU)
1. The Exorcists

**Disclaimers:** OK, the same old story again... I don't have any rights on Yugioh or any other mentioned, products, areas or characters mentioned here. Any resemblances to existing persons are pure accidental and not intended. No copyright infringement intended!  
  
**Genre:** Romance/Humor/Horror-Parody  
  
**Pairing:** Bakura/Ryou, Seto/Malik and possibly some more...  
  
**Summary:** After receiving an invitation to a party at Count Dracula´s castle, Bakura and Seto, exorcists extraordinaire, decide to dress out as monsters and raid the castle.... –not quite getting what they hoped for. **Starring:** A not-so-holy exorcist named Touzoku-ou Bakura, a male Banshee with a lack of self-confidence, a sultry succubus that's trying to prove that he can seduce absolutely ANYBODY and a fake vampire (aka. the exorcists partner) that proves that icicles _can be_ reincarnated as humans!  
  
**Picaro:** In response of Saihiteis dare! smirks psychotically You really shouldn't have added that ´no other conditions´ M-chan!!  
  
**Dare:** A Bakura/Ryou story with hints of mild lemon, no other conditions.

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**1: The Exorcists**  
  
Transylvania. A much-famed land in Rumania, known for being rough as a region and possessing even more rough inhabitants...Lord Dracula, for example.  
  
„-and why NOT, may I ask you?!"  
  
**#**Ramnikul, Transylvania.**#**  
  
Several citizens of the usually calm city stopped in their daily routines, shaken from the loud scream that had just ripped the air. Noting the suddenly lack in _any_ movement, the tall brunette man let out a little sigh, shaking his head in disapproval.  
  
"Because you, my dear Bakura, wouldn't know the meaning of the word ´_inconspicuous_´ and if it´d jump right onto the tip of your nose and do a step-dance there. As you just effectively proved."  
  
The last comment was accompanied with a flat look, and a light nod of his head, indicating at their still frozen-silent surroundings. The man he was talking to didn't seem to be fazed at all. Giving his companion a fierce glare that was able to intimidate most of Transylvania's undead-population, Bakura let out a low growl. Everybody else would have been scared and just given the white-haired ruffian his will, but not his brunette partner. Oh no, not Seto Kaiba! Letting one of the corners of his lips twitch up in a lightly amused expression, Seto´s calm blue eyes met Bakura´s fierce ones glares coolly.  
  
Realizing that his glares were getting wasted on his companion, the white-haired exorcist let out a loud growl. Turning his attention to much more grateful victims (speak, the still ogling townsfolk) the smaller undead-hunter snarled.  
  
"WHAT?!?! DID YOU NEVER BEFORE SEE TWO EXORCISTS HAVE AN ARGUMENT?! GET GOING!!"  
  
The spell was immediately broken. Watching the formerly curious crowd scramble away from them and back to whatever they were doing before Bakura´s first outburst not without a certain amount of amusement, the icy-blue eyed brunette shook his head again. Giving his ill-tempered team-mate a level glance, he murmured. "What was to be proved."  
  
That comment earned him another fierce glance from Bakura (that was promptly ignored again.)  
  
Crossing his arms angrily in front of his black-cloth chest, Bakura seized Seto with another wild glare. "So you don't think that I could do it undercover."  
  
The blue-eyed brunette smirked lightly. "Actually, Bakura, I don't think you could do _any_ mission undercover, not just this one." Seeing his friend immediately bristle up again at his comment, Seto laughed in his low voice. "Your temper is simply too fierce. You'd end up bloody massacring the first one who just dares to voice a doubt on the genuineness of your cover."  
  
"I was good enough to pull that drunken-lovers stand with you the other time." Bakura all but pouted at him. Seeing this, the brunette couldn't held but chuckle again. Seeing a man who had made his mark in life as clearly as Bakura Touzoku-ou had acting so childish simply amused him.  
  
"Yeah, but back then we were playing to get that Lich out of it's hide. It doesn't take much to play somebody drunken enough to not even notice if they'd snug now another man, a woman, a horse or a log of wood." He reminded his companion and fellow hunter of the supernatural with a light, sly grin. Bakura simply continued with his glares. "So you're expecting us to simply pass up an opportunity like that?"  
  
Seto sighed internally. Bakura could be so stubborn when he wanted too! (Not to mention that the brunette was just as viciously head-strong himself) Inwardly, he couldn't help but contemplate what a strange sight they two had to be. Two of the holy orders most successful (and devastating - They always left their battlefields in shambles; not accounting if it was the monsters doing or theirs.) exorcists, in all their black-clothed glory, standing in middle of the streets and fighting like little children... Good that their superiors couldn't see that. If he thought about it, it was good that they didn't know most of their activities.  
  
(Otherwise they'd been booted out of the order at least three times... Both, Seto and Bakura had been disastrous in their ways of exorcising before they were paired up as a field team. - Now it was often that they caused more damages in a single hunt than the monster they hunted had in all it's time together.;)  
  
"Seto!"  
  
The brunette in question jerked lightly, his attention returning back to his distressed team-mate. If possible, Bakura now glared even more. The albino couldn't stand his partner blacking out on him like that. Crumbling the parchment they'd been fighting over for the past half hour in his fist, he waved his other arm wildly, emphasizing his point.  
  
"How long have we waited for something like this? It's practically a direct invitation right into their heart! We can't pass up a chance like this!!"  
  
Seto watched him with a blank stare. "Of course we can." Bakura jumped a little. Why couldn't that stubborn idiot see his point?! Somehow he had to make him see his point...  
  
"Look, Seto, this is our chance! Everybody will be there. The Count, Frankenstein, just everybody... The crème de la crème! Surely there's one or the other undead on which's head's a reward you'd like to get your fingers on..."  
  
Seto still looked disapproving of the whole idea.  
  
"Bakura - We'd be going right into the middle of a whole nest of legendary immortals."  
  
Bakura blinked, defiantly.  
  
"So what? It's not like we didn't do that already before."  
  
Heaving a sigh, Seto shook his head. So slowly he was getting tired of this argument.  
  
"The _difference_ is that we're not talking about our common, everyday undeads. We're talking about going straight into Count Dracula's castle, for god's sake! He's not any vampire, he's the ultimate vampire lord! Not to mention all the other high-class enemies there..."  
  
"So you're suddenly chicken, aren't you? Now, where it's getting dangerous!" Bakura sneered.  
  
"BAKURA-!!"  
  
Within seconds the arrogant exorcist was finding himself hanging in the air, only suspended by the brunette's hand that had a tight grip on his shirts collar. Narrowing his reddish-brown eyes at Seto, he hissed. "What?! Sensible towards hearing the truth? Admit it Seto, if the risk's low, then you're all powerful. But as soon as is might get a tiny bit dangerous you're backing down! -Ow!!"  
  
Rubbing his sore rear, he glared defiantly up to meet his friends enraged eyes. He didn't bother to attempt to stand up from where the brunette had forcefully thrown him to the ground, knowing better than that. It would high probably only gain him a painful kick into the rips. Seto was like that. Being usually rather calm-tempered to an almost stoic amount, the icy blue-eyed one was known and feared within their order for being just as cruel and vicious (if not more) than the monster they usually hunted, when provoked.  
  
A rule that didn't exclude any of his partners, as the white-haired ex-thief had soon learned after their first encounter.  
  
Snagging the lightly ragged document from Bakura´s hand, the brunette quickly skimmed over it, before giving Bakura a disdainful look. Bakura glared right back. For a few moments they held their gazes like that, then Seto snorted, jerking his head away.  
  
"Party at Castle Dracuul... That's is down-right suicide, you know that, don't you? "He threw his hands up into the air. "But fine, let's go there!! You already made up your mind! I'll laugh when your cover gets blown and they rip you into bloody pieces. "  
  
Breaking into a bright smirk, Bakura quickly scrambled up from the floor after hearing that. Giving Seto a partner-ly pat on his shoulder (he had to actually reach up to reach it), he grinned victoriously.  
  
"Don't worry, partner! I won't let it come _that_ far!"  
  
Having a sigh under his breath, Seto removed his hand. "You know, whenever you say something like that, it usually only ends up worse..."  
  
Muttering under his breath about stupid, battle-rabid albinos, he started heading towards the inn they had taken residence in, not waiting for his white-haired companion to follow him. Blinking after him, Bakura shouted.  
  
"_Oi_! Seto! Where are you going? The castle's the other way!!"  
  
Turning around, Seto gave him an exhausted look.  
  
"To the inn. Knowing our luck and your sense for tact, we'll need all the preparations we can get. And also it's just starting after nightfall." With that, he turned and left Bakura to himself.  
  
Said exorcist grinned. Taking himself a minute for dusting off the dirt of his clothes, he quickly followed after his brunette partner in crime; err...exorcism, not bothering for the document he'd been clutching so fervently a short times before.  
  
......  
  
Anybody who would have bothered to still read it, would have been shocked by it's contents. It wasn't only a document. It was a invitation.  
  
From Count Dracula to ´who-every reads this´ to a party in his castle.  
  
Only condition:  
  
_You had to be a monster.  
_  
**---Chapter 1 End---**

©by Picaro


	2. Being on the way

**Disclaimers:** OK, the same old story again... I don't have any rights on Yugioh or any other mentioned, products, areas or characters mentioned here. Any resemblances to existing persons are pure accidental and not intended. No copyright infringement intended!

**Genre: **Romance/Humor/Horror-Parody

**Pairing: **Bakura/Ryou, Seto/Malik and possibly some more...

**Summary: **After receiving an invitation to a party at Count Dracula´s castle, Bakura and Seto, exorcists extraordinaire, decide to dress out as monsters and raid the castle.... –not quite getting what they hoped for. **Starring:** A not-so-holy exorcist named Touzoku-ou Bakura, a male Banshee with a lack of self-confidence, a sultry succubus that's trying to prove that he can seduce absolutely ANYBODY and a fake vampire (aka. the exorcists partner) that proves that Icicles can be incarnated as humans!

**Dare: **A Bakura/Ryou story with hints of mild lemon, no other conditions.

**About Rating:** As you all might have noticed, this story is in it's mood inspired by nothing else than the famous Rocky Horror Picture Show (mostly Dr. Frank-N-Furter). So I thought it fitting to give it also the rating the movie got. (For twelve-years upwards..) The almost lemon will be rated extra.

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**A Great, Great thank you for reviewing to:** Chibified Raven, Amethyst-Dragonflame, Lin McGregor and apocalipticoblivion. Thanks a lot you all! I promise I'll try to update often!

**To my dear Flamer Christina:** Hello there. How are you doing? First of all I want to thank you for you flame, it was entertaining me for the rest of the whole week. Of course I'm no sick person who ´rites homo stories´. I only **W**rite them. I don't do the thing with building yaoi shrines on the top of hills, making ritual fires and dance around them naked. I'm still keeping my underwear and my net clothes on! No, seriously, the only thing your flame can do is to make me laugh. Know what? I don't think you actually read any more than the title and then decided to flame. If you did, you'd have noticed that this story is anything else than worth he ´R´- rating that you so nicely suggested. And if you really think that reading shonen ai stories might teach kids wrong things, then you're either strictly catholic or... seriously naïve. That's all I have to say.

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**2: Being On The Way (Some people just can´t help it...)**

„Ryou..."

„Ryou."

„-RYOU!!!"

The pale figure shot up from it's bed with a sudden yelp, just to tangle itself in it's white linen sheets almost instantly. For a second it managed to keep it's balance nonetheless, but then Ryou made the stupid decision to try and untangle himself.

A bad idea.

The result was another, louder yelp, a helpless flurr of rotating limbs and a very loud thud as the unlucky boy hit the hard wooden floor face first.

"Ow" A voice next to him snickered. "That looked like it hurt."

An answering groan came from where Ryou's form was buried under the sheets. "What?" The light-haired demon blinked, watching his friend fighting to untangle himself from his sheets. Watching him struggle for a while, the demon took finally pity on the banshee and helped him.

Being finally able to move again, Ryou quickly picked himself up from the floor. Feeling his friend's amused stare boring into his back, the snow-haired banshee heaved a sigh. He turned around, shooting his friend an exhausted glare.

"I said: With a friend like you, one doesn't need any enemies, Malik."

Malik just grinned and shrugged his shoulders, causing the miniature bat-wings that sprouted from his back to imitate the motion. Ryou watched it with mild interest. Even though he was by now long used to the cheeky Succubus, he still managed to irritate him a lot every once in a while.

Sighing, Ryou cast Malik a last look before carelessly snatching some clean clothes. Heading for the adjoining bathroom, Ryou locked the door behind him, just in case. Knowing Malik, he fully well trusted the Succubus to follow him in otherwise. If only to make fun of the petite death-fairy.

When he returned, Malik was still in his room. The ashen-blonde was leaning casually against the desk (the guest room's only one) and was polishing his nails with what looked like a vicious torture-instrument into a semi claw-like form. Hearing the other body enter, he rose his head. Seeing Ryou, his violet eyes narrowed instantly, a frown forming on his face.

Regarding him with a disdainful look, he asked. "You're not really planning on spending the whole day like that, do you?" Ryou gave him a surprised look. Trailing his eyes over his clothes, he couldn't see any reason for the other demon to react the way he did. He blinked dumbly. "Why not?"

Malik all but rolled his eyes at him.

"Why not, I wonder....Lets see-"He put a freshly manicured finger-claw against his lips, pretending to be thinking. "Maybe because the freaking most important event in this century is taking place tonight?!"

Ryou winced at his friends outburst. Malik made the reputation of the Succubi being an extraordinary loud and...´_vocal_´ race all the honours. "Ano. Malik..." Ryou cast his blond friend an excusing look. "I wasn't planning on attending to it." The succubus ´hmph´-ed, putting his hands against his hips in an gesture that was so feminine that it was almost ridiculous. According to his shift in temper his miniature bat-wings had fanned themselves out to their full span (about the length of one of Ryou's arms - Succubus wings weren't exactly meant to be impressive) and his whip-like, pointed devil-tail was lashing around furiously. Ryou gulped. He'd known his friend would react like this.

Which was only one more of the reasons the young banshee dreaded the day like none other before.

Before Malik got a proper chance to voice his feelings towards Ryou's not-going, they were interrupted by a small noise. Both turned their attention to Ryou's door, from which it apparently seemed to be coming from. A small heap of sand was building in front of Ryou's closed door and a constant trickle was keeping it growing. Watching it drizzle in from between the minimal gap between door frame and the lower edge of the wooden door, Ryou couldn't help but rise an amused eyebrow.

Next to him, Malik snorted. The succubus pursed his lips. "You know, you also could just put your ears against the door if you want to listen, Rishid." He said pointedly. "Or even more simple: Just open the door and come in." Ryou grinned lightly. "Just come in, Rishid."

At those words, movements came into the sand. The pile quickly rose into a huge leap that swiftly formed into the outlines of a human. Soon after the sand had vanished and a dark-skinned man had taken it's place. The man was tall. Taller than even most tall people Ryou had ever met, a giant within it's own.

With his good seven feet of high Rishid easily towered above everybody else they had ever met, either. Adding to that the fact that he- like his both half-siblings- possessed a dark, sun-tanned skin tone, wore his head shaved bald with the exception of a long, raven-black braid that cascaded down his back and not to forget had very obviously no-ounce-of-fat on his muscle-packed body was more than enough to impress about just anybody the gigantic sand-spirit met. And if that wasn't enough; the vicious looking self-caused symbols that were scared into the left half of his stern face and the neither all too friendly, nor really threatening expression of his yellow-green eyes were.

Along with his ever-present black, hooded cloak that made him look like a messenger of death.

Having appeared completely, Rishid nodded at them in greeting. "Ryou. Brother" Ryou smiled, returning the gesture courtly. Malik only scowled at his half-brother. "What do you want?"

Rishid gave him a mild look. Not for the first time Ryou found himself surprised with how gentle the menacing looking giant could be. It didn't help to better Malik's mood, though. "Well?" His bracelet adorned arms crossed in front of his chest, the male succubus made a step forward. "Did my sister send you to make sure I didn't decide to spend the rest of the day in bed with Ryou?"

Rishid just moved his lips into a faint version of a smile while Ryou flinched visibly at the idea. He liked Malik as a friend and also admitted that he thought the desert-born Succubus to be handsome (like all of his race!!), but that covered it already.

Seeing Ryou shake, Rishid chuckled lowly. Malik only raised an eyebrow. "Isis was really asking for you two. She wanted to know if the two of you will be attending?" Seeing his brother's still unhappy expression, the tall man added. "Sorry for listening on your door. I know that you don't like being heard out, Malik."

Ryou giggled. "Yeah. Except if it's him himself who's doing the hearing. Then he doesn't feel bothered at all." He snickered.

Malik bristled at them, his wings beating wildly. For a second Ryou already thought the blonde would let them know loudly what he thought of their little teasings (and like said, Succubi were in-famous for their vocalness; - and their volume at it), but then he relaxed, letting all the stashed up air vanquish with a loud huff. Ryou relaxed inside. He knew that his friend usually didn't have any inhibitions of voicing his opinion, but Malik also wouldn't risk making a bad impression on the Count and thus risk being thrown out just before the main event started.

"Tell Isis that we're both going to come." His sweet expression was ruined by the exited way his devil tail was whipping around. "Before you say something, Ryou, think about it. Either you go or I'll be spending the whole night with you in your chamber. Alone."

Ryou eeped at Malik´s words. "I'm going!"

By all his likening of the other, Ryou didn't have any intentions of becoming part of Malik's nightly escapades. Not now, tomorrow or ever.

"Okay."

Rishid inclined his head slowly, before leaving the room the same way he'd entered it. Behind him Malik huffed silently, crossing his hands in front of his chest.

"I wish just once he'd use the doors! What else do we have them for?!"

** o **

"Are we soon there?"

"No"

"Are we soon there?"

"No."

"Are we soon there?"

"No."

"Are we soon-"

Seto whirled around and grabbed Bakura by his collar before the white-haired exorcist had even a chance to finish his drawled question for about the hundredth time. Drawing him closer (and thus almost from the horse he was riding), Seto's ice-blue eyes narrowed dangerously. He hissed "Can you see that big castle over there?"

Feigning a nervous expression, Bakura blinked sheepishly. "Uh-Yes?" Seto snarled slightly. "When we're in front of it's gates you'll know that we are there. And don't dare asking me that idiotic question again!" With that he let go of Bakura´s shirt's sleeve, pushing him roughly away.

Watching him kick his horse lightly into it's sides to make it pick up speed and get so some distance between the two of them, Bakura couldn't help but chuckle sadistically. Annoying the overly-controlled brunette was a truly fun thing to do, as long as one knew where to stop in time. Feeling halfway tempted to ask the hated question another time just to see the brunette jump, he decided against it. Too much fun could be unhealthy all at once, especially when it was at Seto's costs.

Signalising his own horse to catch up with Seto's, he gave him a half-heartedly apologetic look. Tugging on the already stressed shirt-collar, he said. "Seto..." The addressed man shrugged his shoulders coldly, before shooting the former thief and now exorcist an annoyed stare. "Cut it. I know you by now long enough to know when you're serious and when not."

His voice was icy at those words. Bakura watched as a nerve close to the right corner of his mouth twitched. In disdain, probably. Turning his attention back to the road in front of them, Seto continued. "I'm bored too. That's still no reason to take it out on me." He made a short pause. "Or else it might happen that there's nobody left to keep your back clear, the next time you need it."

Shooting Bakura a side-way glance from the corner of his eye, Seto steered his horse in front, further concentrating on finding them the safest way. Which was wasted effort since the road leading to the castle was in quite fine condition. Bakura scowled at the threat, but didn't really dare telling the brunette off, lest Seto would make his words come true. And sadly, Bakura plain and simply couldn't afford that. Within the whole St. Rosenkruz order the blue-eyed brunette was the only left who was still willing to work together with him.

The almost-albino frowned at the thought. So he was an ex-thief that had converted to working as an exorcist. So what? Did they expect him to rob all the rich houses they exorcised? If that thought would have been voiced loud, his partner would probably have commented on the many suddenly vanished valuables and the many suspicious bags Bakura usually tended to drag from their working places. However, he didn't voice them, so it really didn't count.

It was part of an unspoken pact between them.

Seto wouldn't comment on any of the ex-thief's antics concerning the fulfilling of their missions and in exchange Bakura would always willingly play guinea pig for the brunettes newest inventions.

Like the white-haired ex-thief, Seto, too, had his own hobbyhorses. Where Bakura had taken it upon himself to keep valuable stuff from the danger of ´turning into rusty dust-catchers´ Seto indulged himself with the inventing of always new devices that were supposed to help them in their fight against monsters.

Fortunately Seto knew enough of his handiwork so that they always worked. - Unfortunately they did it sometimes _too_ good.

Remembering his encounter with Seto's ´Spider-Edge´, the red-eyed exorcist traced the vertical line that ran over his right cheek, one out of three scars that were marring it. The other two were two horizontal, shorter twin lines that were partially crossing the first one. A souvenir of the Fomorigan that the Spider-Edge had been supposed to decapitate. Back then Bakura hadn't been to sure what had hurt more. The three, deep bloody gashes on his face or the fact that after that Seto had made short work with the monster. Killing it quickly with his own Spider-Edge and not even breaking a sweat. In an afterthought, Bakura assumed that it was his pride that had hurt more.

Pulling another time on his make-ship costume, Bakura kicked his sorrel lightly, trusting on it's natural senses to follow after Seto's black stallion.

For a while it worked fine. They had come closer to the great castle quite a lot while they were riding in silence, yet there was still a good piece of the way left to go. Bakura almost said something about it and the fact that the count didn't seem to make it easy for his guests to arrive, when Seto suddenly stiffened. With a jerk of it's reins he let the horse stop. Bakura did the same.

Watching the brunette's dark look, Bakura let his eyes follow his stare. First he saw nothing. Then - Something moved were seconds before nothing had been and Bakura barely kept himself from cursing.

It was... an Eye?!

An Golden Eyeball was floating right in middle of the air, not four horse lengths away from them. I was a good deal up in the air, about the high a normal-grown man's face had to be in. It didn't float right in the middle of the way, like they had first assumed, but a bit afar to the side, where one would be going, if you'd have the choice and also knew that it was a much-used route. If it weren't for the occasional stray rays of the late afternoon's sun that were occasionally reflecting on it, the two exorcists would probably not have noticed it until it was too late.

Seto pursed his lips. Bakura gave him a look, but decided to leave it with it. "Invisible?"

"Invisible." The disdain in Seto's voice was clear and cutting. Bakura narrowed his blood red-brown eyes slightly, but decided to keep silent again. Seto's hunter instincts had kicked in. It was obvious. The way the brunette kept searching their surrounds to make sure there were no other unknown attackers and the certain amount of tightness he'd kept his body in (instead of relaxing again like Bakura) were tell-tale signs.

Obviously Seto expected them to be attacked.

"What now?" The question was low and hissed, as if to make sure that nobody but them could hear it. Bakura thought he was overreacting. And he told him exactly that. Seto only gave him an angered glare. Bakura shrugged his shoulders, trying to be intentionally at easy. If the strange whatever-it-was invisible thing had an eye, chances were good that it had also noticed them. And was reading their body languages.

Which it obviously had.

Forcing themselves to remain calm, the two disguised exorcists watched as the golden object came closer to them with an almost bobbing flounce. Six feet in front of them, it stopped. Just as Bakura wanted to make an comment about the strange floating ball in the air, a voice spoke.

"Excuse me, my gentlemen" Next to him, Bakura could see Seto raising an eyebrow. The voice that had spoken was male; slightly accented and sounded all too amused with itself.

Short, it sounded tipsy.

Bakura narrowed his eyes lightly.

"Yes?"

He concentrated his look at the single floating orb in front of them. According to the sound of it, whoever possessed the voice was grinning.

"Looking at you I would say you are two of the count's guests."

Seto cut him off with a disgruntled gesture. Obviously Bakura's fellow hunter was still upset about their coming to the party.

"If you mean if we're on the way to the party at the castle, then yes, we are." He glared menacingly at the eye. "What do you want?"

The golden object made a little dance in the air, as if whoever owned it was nodding (or shaking?) his head.

"You're for the first time here, no?"

Just silence answered his question. By now Bakura could guess where their little talk was aiming to. According to the dark expression on Seto's face, the brunette had too.

"I could lead you right to the best part of it at the shortest route."

Bakura mentally rolled his eyes. What a bloke! Externally, though, he didn't let his thoughts faze his calm mask.

"For a favour in return, I assume."

The eye bobbed up and down. "Of course." Bakura sighed. Next to him Seto's sapphire glare only won in vigour.

"You want us to give you a lift."

Whoever owned the eye, he must have beamed.

"Exactly!!"

Before even just waiting for a word of agreement on their part, he moved closer before stopping right beside to Seto's horse. The next moment the brunette stiffened and his horse started to prance nervously, indicating that their unasked for guest had situated himself behind the exorcist on the horse.

Noting the amused glint in Bakura's eyes, Seto growled angrily under his breath. With a blunt jerk of his reins Seto got his shying horse along with his own emotions under control again. Leading it into a light trot, he shot his white-haired companion a fierce glare. Obviously Seto wasn't finding this occurrence amusing at all.

"So then... Lead the way, -?"

A chuckle was heard from behind Seto.

"Pegasus. Just call me Pegasus."

The blue-eyed exorcist snorted, but kept his comment to himself. Giving the strange-looking riders (it looked as if the brunette was riding with a constant wind against his back) a last amused look, Bakura quickly got in pace with them. Inwardly he couldn't help a snicker at his poor fortuned team-mate. He was glad that the invisible one decided to ride with Seto.

After three minutes, the brunette growled under his breath.

"Pegasus, if you don't stop groping me **_this instant_** and finally start leading us the way you can go the whole way yourself!"

This time Bakura _did_ snicker out loud.

**- - -Chapter 2 End- - - **

**©by Picaro**

**LITTLE MONSTER LEXICON:**

**Succubi:** Male or female temptation demons. The male are usually called Incubus while the female ones are Succubus. They are said to be tempting humans to have intercourse with them. (Must..watch...rating!) They're not really life-threatening and won't be affected by usual exorcisms. It's said that a human-succubus partnership is much more intense in it's feelings for both partners.

**Banshee:** Irish fairy of death. Hearing it´s songs is a sure sign of upcoming death. Whether it´s now their songs that are deadly or is they only predict what´s already sure to happen is unknown. Usually always females.


	3. Prelude to the Chaos!

**Disclaimers:** Look at the previous chapters…

**Genre: **Romance/Humor/Horror-Parody

**Pairing: **Bakura/Ryou, Seto/Malik and possibly some more…

**Summary: **After receiving an invitation to a party at Count Dracula´s castle, Bakura and Seto, exorcists extraordinaire, decide to dress out as monsters and raid the castle…. –not quite getting what they hoped for. **Starring:** A not-so-holy exorcist named Touzoku-ou Bakura, a male Banshee with a lack of self-confidence, a sultry succubus that's trying to prove that he can seduce absolutely ANYBODY and a fake vampire (aka. the exorcists partner) that proves that Icicles can be incarnated as humans!

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**Picaro:** Hi again with a new chapter of Transsexual Transylvania! I bow low having to think how long (long? It were more than THREE months!) I've let you wait for the next chapter. Especially considering how many nice reviews I've gotten for the last chapter… Thank you a very, very lot for them! Even my flamer came back to me… Ehehe, anyway! I've managed to fail about all of my courses, but now that I'm back allowed access to the computer and have gotten this chapter back from my beta… 

**To Christina, the second:** I wholeheartedly agree with you on one thing. Let's drop this foolishness! I'm sorry if I've gotten a bit overboard with my last answer, it might have come out a bit more harsh than it was planned to be. Mainly because I tend to have a rather black gallows humour (the thing with being either catholic or naïve was a joke!) and also because yours happen to be the first ´serious´ flamers I've ever gotten to meet in my three-years long experience as a fanfiction writer. Also, I didn't expect you to actually return to this story a second time… If one doesn't likes a story, one surely wouldn't read an update of it, or so I thought. Let's knock this off, it's going to bring nobody nowhere. You stated your opinion and I stated mine in return. This is going to be my final point in that matter.

I'm sorry for cursing all others who read this with such a long AU, but I think this really had to be said. I'm not going to react furthermore to any kinds of flames I might get to my stories, so spare yourself the effort flamers!

PS: I'm sorry about the lack of proper grammar this far. Either my beta (yes, I´m using one – or rather pleading on my knees for their help) or I messed up on that. More likely I. Remember: Never save the betaed and the unbetaed file under the same name! It creates confusion! …I´ll vow to do better from now on.

**And finally: Let the story progress!**

_(PPS: That's the place were you can stop scrolling and actually start reading.)_

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**3 : Prelude to the Chaos! (a fateful bet)

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Ryou had always hated taking part in this sorts of social gatherings, and not without reason.

That was what the white-haired banshee was immediately reminded of, when he entered the ball room of Count Dracula's castle. Of course a party as big as this one was promising to be, it wasn't going to be reduced to one (admittedly impressive) room alone. The festivities included all major parts of the castle, leaving only the guests rooms and more private chambers of the count excluded.

As well as the kitchen, the storage rooms, and -very likely- the treasure chambers.

Despite being a great and incredibly generous host, Ryou plain couldn't imagine the Count shrugging the invading of some strangers into his ´private purse´ off with nothing but a "I hope they find their way back to their chambers.". Un-huh, not very likely.

All these thoughts and more were crossing the white-haired youths head, each one of them desperately trying to overrun the fact that the whole room had fallen silent at his appearance and was now staring at him.

Inwardly Ryou once again cursed his best friend and self-proclaimed adoptive brother at times. Damn Malik and his stupid antics! Everytime something great was taking place, the young male succubi had to be right in the very middle of it. And always, absolutely always, Malik also dragged Ryou into it with him.

The blond succubus desperately loved being the center of attention… Quite contrary to the withdrawn and rather shy banshee youth. Unfortunately, Ryou (like all preferred background-dwellers) kept loosing pathetically to the outgoing succubus who possessed, to make it all worse, also half of the heart of a real Drama Queen as well.

If Ryou wouldn't let Malik drag him into the center of attention, the terrible demon would simply redirect all of the attention with his actions to them.

It was a loose-loose situation, no matter how one´d turn it. Malik, and thus Ryou, would always be center of attention, no matter where they went.

And it wasn't even because their were the very likely only male representants of their otherwise females-only races.

Although the onholding silence proved sufficiently that he didn't need the constant company of his blond-haired lust-demon friend to get all of the others attention directed to him. The room wasn't completely silent. Trying to achieve a state of complete silence in a room of this size and with such a multi-cultural (and specie-ed) amount of people in it was simply impossible. Still, the large ball room which was going to be making out the center of the upcoming party (the official opening was still a bit more than an hour away, yet the room was already blistering full with life.- At the lack of a better fitting word to describe all the various sorts of monsters, undeads, supernatural creatures and others who had followed the Count's call.), was as silent as it could ever hope to get.

Fighting the embarrassed blush that was threatening to colour his pale cheeks, Ryou swiftly finished the last few steps of the stairs and immediately aimed for one of his favourite spots during such occasions, the backlaying, somewhat concealed tables and banks at the sidelines.

Like always, they would be half-heartedly populated by all those who didn't find their luck in the mass. In other words, all those who couldn't dance, were to unfortunate to ever find a willing dancing partner, the loners, the ones who couldn't hold their liquor and, the worst off ones of all, the ones who were damned by their so-called friends to remain sober so that they could later steer aforementioned in their hazardous after-party-states home without accidentally ramming a wooden flock into their own heart.

To them, Ryou felt especially close, even though Malik never forced him to that sort of thing. Fortunately the succubus found more pleasure in playing his usual succubus games with the other party guests than indulging himself in the offered beverage, aside to the fact that Mailk held his liquor pretty well.

It were other things Ryou had to drag Malik away from every once in a while. (But honestly, that Harpy-one last time was too much, even for somebody like Malik! For Ryou it was definitely…) He shuddered at that thought, pushing it quickly away from himself.

Finding himself a still empty and comfortable enough looking bench to spent the rest of the night at, Ryou plopped himself down with a repressed sigh, trying to push the thoughts about the succubus past archivenessess out of his head. Great god, he didn't even want to _try_ and imagine what his friend would be probably be dragging to their table this time, while having a victorious grin etched onto his face.

The whole room was vibrating with noises again, though they all were still spoken in a lower tone of voice, as if their owners were trying to be loud without creating to much noise. The two girls at the table next to Ryou didn't make it. The male banshee's sharp ears immediately picked up on their hushed conversation, mainly because Ryou couldn't get rid if the feeling that they were talking about him.

"…-s a banshee."

"What? The white one who's just come in? A Banshee?"

The second one sounded disbelieving. Ryou couldn't blame her for that. It was a well-known fact that banshee were a females only race. -With the exception of Ryou of course.

"Yes!"

"But-… I thought !"The exclamation was followed by a giggle. "Yeah, I did too for a second. With those clothes, one could a almost believe… But she's a girl. Definitely a female!" Ryou´s eyes flew open at that. What the?

"Didn't you see that long eyelashes? And I know from an ab-so-lu-te-ly reliable source that only girls can be banshees!" The last part was added with a proud undertone of somebody simply parroting what they'd overheard of some strangers conversation once. Ryou resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Great Gods!

"What? Really!"

The white-haired boy didn't have to look back to know that they were now openly staring at him. The rustle of their elaborate ball-robes were enough. "One almost wouldn't notice…" "Yeah, but now that you say it…- She really has small shoulders!" "Yes, a much too delicate frame for a man…-" Ryou droned their voices forcefully out at that point, not wanting to further ruin his mood by listening to those chicks listing off his female traits that he definitely _didn't_ possess.

Resisting the urge to grate his teeth, the banshee wondered why those girls were even here, since they definitely didn't look in any sorts monstrous. Even more, however, the death fairy boy wanted to know just where the blessed cross Malik stayed. The blonds had went down to the party area a short while before Ryou had and had loudly promised to make Ryou witness of him beating the record of breaking the most heart in a night again. Shifting in his seat, Ryou sighed silently to himself. Maybe it wasn't really that bad that his friend hadn't shown up yet.

It still gave Ryou time chiding himself for letting himself being dragged into such a mess again.

**oOo**

When Malik finally arrived, Ryou first barely could believe his eyes.

The succubus was grinning evilly (telling Ryou of his just made latest acquisition of his broken hearts account), and was wearing something that would be more matched being worn by the female members of his race. Not that the attire didn't fit Malik. The black top accented nicely with the lightly golden toned colour of his skin and the violet brought out the colour of his eyes just as well… Still, the thing would be looking even better on him if Malik actually were a girl. Especially the violet cloth that he'd slung over his hips, creating with it's hinted at see-through effect an illusion of a halved skirt.

At least he'd been considerate enough to wear pants underneath it.

Taking in his flamboyant friend's attire, Ryou´s lips twitched into a grin. "You look like a girl." He greeted. Usually Malik would have ripped his head off for that comment, since the succubus considered himself ´open for the best, no matter which direction it came from´, but reacted rather …´_violently_´, when being called anything close to being queer.

This time though, the blonde didn't raise to the bait. Shooting Ryou a quick smirk, the succubus sat down along the bench opposing him. "Say what you want." He smiled victoriously. "But many people here think I look rather stunning in this." Ryou raised a playful eyebrow. "Did these people also realise that you're actually a man…?"

"Hey!"

Laughing, the white-haired banshee quickly evaded his friend's bad aimed hit for his head. Chuckling lightly, Malik made a ´I'm still gonna get you´-kind of gesture in Ryou´s direction, but let the matter drop otherwise. After all it already _had_ happened that one of the blonde's aspiring lovers had halfway around undressing finally noticed that not all demons that addressed themselves as succubi automatically had to be also female.

Much to Malik´s chagrin and Ryou´s eternal amusement.

Before they could pick more on the matter, they were interrupted, however. Both young males stopped synchronically as a weight hit the other end of Ryou´s bench with a silent ´thud´, causing the rather fragile piece of furniture to shake lightly under the impact for a few seconds.

Looking up, Ryou saw a tall, lean figure slouching at the very opposite end of the bench, looking all he was worth like the manifestation of sheer exhaustion. Before the white-haired youth could form another thought to the man's apparition (none of their fine senses had noticed his coming until he literally dropped (almost) onto them) or come up with any reasonable reasons for the other's apparent exhaustion, already another figure swooped in to shatter their already creaked confidence into their demonic senses.

Appearing almost like out of thin air another man stepped up to their table, and set, after shooting his still crouched low, exhausted friend a mirthful smirk, two drinks onto the table. Ryou frowned lightly, noting that the liquid in both jugs were of an exquisite red. It was either blood or wine. Maybe both.

The first man shot the new arrival who'd seated himself right across himself a dry look, murmuring something illegible that Ryou couldn't hear. Malik´s ears twitched, his lips forming a temporary smirk as the other man burst into rough laughter. Noticing his friend's questioning look, Malik smiled lightly, nodding his head in the first man's direction. As a succubi he had naturally an even better hearing than the young banshee already had.

"He's met Pegasus."

"Really?" Ryou´s eyes widened at the dreaded one's name. Pegasus was terrible. Not really to the point of being lethal, the invisible one still could very easily make an outgrown man cry when he'd once decided to bestow him with his ´special interest´. Being Pegasus main favourite ´cutie´ for one night undoubtedly resulted in brain damage for the poor victims. Malik grinned, showing off his fangs in the process. "Yes." The banshee shuddered. "Poor guy."

That comment caused Malik to promptly burst out laughing, but Ryou had meant it literally. He'd once been in the immensely unfortunate situation of being caught in the same room with the giddy ´Golden Eye´ himself before, and he was still grateful to no end when his blonde friend finally had returned form his venture to the restrooms.

Turning his head, the young Death-Fairy-Demon tried to get a better look onto the new arrivals. The first man had relatively short, messed up brown hair and was very, very tall. That were the first things Ryou noticed. Like his companion's, his clothes were dark. The other guy was slightly smaller, with a more defined ,male-ish-muscular frame showing through his clothes and had spiky looking white hair. His skin was also darker than the first ones.

Feeling something in his mind click, Ryou turned back to his best friend. "Hey, Malik?"

"Yes?"

"Does your offer still stand?"

Malik raised an eyebrow. "My offer?" Ryou made a face. Gesturing for his friend to lean closer, he said in a lowered voice. "The one were you claimed that you could seduce about anyone." Malik clearly still didn't understand. Shooting his friend a confused look, he nodded. "Everybody but you and my family members." Ryou grinned. "Fine." Malik scowled. "For you. I still don't get what you're trying to say at all." Ryou chuckled.

"How about a bet?"

"A bet?" Malik echoed, feeling a little bit suspicious about the whole thing. Ryou usually didn't do things like a bet without being sure that there was at least a fifty-fifty chance of him also winning it. Ryou nodded brightly. "About your seduction skills. If I choose someone and you can't seduce that person into admitting that he or she loves you until, say, the end of this party, you'll have to promise me that you won't drag me to any more nightly adventures like this."

Now Malik was sure that his suspicious feeling had been reasoned. Ryou probably intentioned to set him up with a frogman and laugh at his friend's attempts to fight his disgust for the rest of the night as a little private entertainment. He hadn't missed the fact that the banshee hadn't looked to be overly enjoying the party until now.

Still, that ´bet´ was somewhat of an attack to his ego and his pride. And there hadn't been anybody aside Ryou yet who was not to fall into the net of his charming personality when the succubus had set it onto his mind. And if Ryou really intended to set him up with one of the amphipic kind, he could still use his charms to end it within a few moments. The only thing worse than a horny or a refused succubus was an angry succubus, like a old saying went.

Not that there were any cases of a succubus getting refused in history.

This in mind, Malik smirked catlike-ish. "And what if I win?" He challenged. Ryou thought for a moment. "Then I won't complain about you dragging me to stuff like this for the next two months." Malik raised an eyebrow, letting out a low whistle. "O-ho. You're pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?" Ryou smiled sunnily. "Aren't I ever…? Anyway,", his face turned serious, "Are you in or do you chicken out?"

Malik hmp-ed at the choice of the wording of the question, his miniature wings beating through the air for a few seconds. "I chicken out of _nothing_, banshee." Ryou grinned. "Fine." The next second Ryou starred cross-eyed at the finger Malik had poked into his face. "But I know you, Ryou. This thing has a rat's tail from here till Mexico. But I'm still agreeing - under one condition." The grin on Ryou´s face faltered. "That is?" Malik´s lavender eyes set into a serious glare.

"Only humanoid candidates.- And no Pegasus!"

Hearing this, the smile was all over the cute banshee´s face again. "No Pegasus. - Agreed!" With that the two shook ceremoniously the hands, sealing the bet. Giving Ryou a curious look, Malik leaned back into his seat. He was seriously intrigued whom his friend would choose. Ryou grinned a tad bit too happily at him for his taste. Taking a sip from his drink, the succubi waited for the white-haired banshee to break the silence. When Ryou didn't make any move to react anytime soon, he finally set down the cup and drawled. "So? Who is the fortunate one?"

Ryou merely grinned angelically and wriggled his eyebrows. Slowly Malik was starting to suspect his friend had been into the offered liquor a bit too much.

"Finally spill it." He demanded. Ryou still grinned.

"Him." He jerked his head in the direction of the two strangers they were sharing their table with, making his long white hair fly. Malik blinked, surprised. He hadn't even been paying attention to them anymore, having lost interest after the mention of Pegasus´ name. He turned his head, taking in the two for real for the first time.

They were both humanoids and looking relatively young, but Malik knew just as well how deceiving those looks could be concerning their kind. The one next to Ryou had bone-white ruffled up white hair and was clearly burlier set than the second, who, at the first look, didn't seem to have any muscles at all under his clothes. His dark clothes were adorned with black embroideries, but even without recognizing some of them Malik had clearly detected him as an necromancer. A set of three scars adorned his right cheek.

So much to the first one.

Turning his head to the one right next to him, the blonde succubus immediately realized that it would be a lot more difficult to categorize this one. Even while sitting it was obvious that he was tall. Chestnut-coloured hair hung low into his eyes, keeping them from Malik´s curious eyes, but revealed his humanly rounded ears instead. Malik frowned lightly. His first idea of the man being a varied version of a dark elf was nullified by that. An elf´s ears were always pointed, that one's were round. He frowned mentally. Maybe a mix-up bastard of an elf? The long, elegant-effortlessly moving limbs and the pale yet creamlike healthy colour of his slender body voted for it.

As if feeling his wandering gaze, the brunette turned his face to him at that moment and Malik promptly forgot to breath. The stranger's facial streaks were a lot better than he'd expected, a youthful noble cut face staring into his, high cheekbones and slim chin enforcing the elfin streak. What didn't fit with the elf and whatbwas being the most stunning feature in it however at the same time, however, had to be definitely those sharp, perfect-cut eyes that were blazing in all variations of the dark blue colour and were hiding far more calculating intelligence than it could be healthy for anybody who was ever facing them.

Malik gulped.

Taking in the still staring demon next to him, Seto´s features twisted into a scowl. "What?" Malik blinked. That cold voice was like being hit by a bucket of ice water. However, the blonde wasn't a succubi for nothing. Ignoring the ice-cold look and the angry blazing eyes, he put on his most charming smile. "You're not from here, right?"

The blue-eyed one who had become his target, (internally, Malik had accepted the challenge the fist moment he'd seen those blue eyes) gave him a look that told him how much he'd stated the obvious. The brunette still matched his searching look for a moment, then he suddenly turned back to his comrade, blocking out Malik completely. Instead he turned his direction to one of the many gaming stages that had been built just outside of the ball room. Almost as on an afterthought, he said. "No, weren't not." His next words were already turned towards his friend. "Bakura, that game seems to be relatively free now, let's go. If we're already here I want to at least try out something." Still not deigning the stunned succubus as much as a proper glance, he stood up and vanished in the tight mass of the many guests, dragging his protesting partner simply with him.

"…….!" Malik blinked, unable to believe what had just happened.

Behind him, Ryou giggled.

"That one seems to be immune to your infamous succubus charm, Malik!" Hissing angrily, Malik all but jumped up, glaring after his departed prey. Ryou watched as his fur-tipped ears twitched, casually evading the whip-lashing emotion of the blonde´s devil-tail. Still chuckling to himself, he murmured. "Guess that means no parties for me for a while…" At the comment Malik whirled around, baring his fangs in Ryou´s direction. The banshee grinned inwardly. It looked like someone had landed a hit on Malik´s vanity. Or was it his ego? Ryou chuckled again.

Realizing that his actions weren't intimidating Ryou into shutting up at all, the succubus gritted his teeth, sending a furious look in the blue-eyed ones appropriate direction.

"This evening has just begun, Ryou….! I'll still get him!"

With that he stormed after the two. Ryou shook his head, feeling lightly worried that he'd pushed it too far. On the other side, though, he had to admit the he was kind of glad of meeting finally somebody who could brush Malik off like usually only Ryou always got. Not good for Malik´s ego, but definitely good for his own. Remembering the angry state Malik had left in, Ryou felt his mirth die down immediately though. Standing up as well, he decided it would be the best if he'd follow them. - If only to keep the damage limited.

**- Chapter 3 End - **

**©by Picaro**

**LITTLE MONSTER LEXICON:**

**In addition to the Incubus – Succubus theme**: Like Yume no Zencho pointed out, it is actually seriously wrong what I´m doing in this story. Namely calling Malik a Succubus while he´s actually a male and thus definitely a _Incubus_. Same goes with Ryou, since he basically couldn´t be a Banshee because that race is females only. I´m having a pretty good reason doing this which the story will hopefully soon reveal, so please bear with my little quirks this far. (Even though I´m catching myself calling him an incubus half of all the time too.)

**Thanks a lot for reading this far!**


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